When confronted with death.
I've been in a really thoughtful mood today. I woke this morning to the news that an older gentleman friend passed away during the night. We had expected it as he was taken to hospital last weekend with only a few days left on this earth. He was a beautiful man of high integrity and honour, who worked tirelessly for our church. We met him when we first went to our church about 6 years ago as he was the 'handyman' right up to a year or so ago. He always amazed us at what he could do considering his older age, and nothing was too much for him to get done. He had to give it over in the last few years as age and health caught up with him, but he was always a much loved and integral part of our church. We had the honour of seeing him last Sunday after hearing he had been taken to hospital. When I walked in the room he grabbed my hand and I saw fear in his eyes as he whispered, 'not long now.' I held on to him and I said, 'don't be afraid, Jesus is waiting for you on the other side.' I know he knows God, but it was sad to see the fear in his eyes and it made me think a lot about death itself. I said to him, 'you have run a great race. You have served the Lord well. I have appreciated your integrity and your honour. I will miss you.' Marko also prayed for him and we saw the fear leave and the peace come over him. His parting words were - 'see you up there.'
It really occurred to me this week that when people are about to leave this earth, they often call on their Pastor. I can honestly say that I'd never really considered that. We are still Associate Pastor's with another year of probation to go, but it's something we are going to have to embrace and learn to deal with. It's such an honour to be able to speak to someone, hold their hand and reassure them in their final days. We aren't all cut out for that, but I know I am.
No-one really wants to talk about death do they? And how much harder is it to talk to someone when they are the ones who are faced with the reality of it? It's like, if we skirt the edges and not really mention it, then it won't happen. But it does, and it will. We have no frame of reference with death, it's not like we can gain experience with it. It will only happen once and because no human can come back and tell us what it's like to die, we are left with our own imagination. Over the last few months we have had a number of friends die, so you'll have to forgive me if death is at the forefront of my thinking at the moment. It hasn't been easy either. Last year I lost a friend to cancer, after he'd told me he had had the all clear from throat cancer. For reasons of his own, he chose not to tell anyone apart from his close family that he had a secondary cancer. He went into pallative care and died shortly after. He was only in his late 40's. I was so mad with him for not telling me, yet I knew him well enough to know that the true gentleman he was, he would have wanted to approach his departure with those close to him. He was so intelligent and such a gentleman. I'll always think of him with great fondness. Not long after that another 'older' lady in our church fell and hit her head breaking her shoulder. She was taken to hospital seemingly okay, but suffered a brain bleed and died.
While I was at her funeral, I met up with 2 dear friends of ours we've known almost as long as we've been back in this town. I worked for Suzi at one point and Marko worked with her husband Ron. She was a remarkable woman in so many ways. She'd dealt with health issues all her life, yet never complained to anyone, loved life, was an amazing business woman, forgiving, outspoken, outgoing, flamboyant and had a crazy sense of fashion (which just always worked!!). She owned her own fashion business, which I worked for her for a season, and was a pillar of this community. I was so thrilled to see her that I gave her a big hug and commented on how good she looked! I always loved her fashion, bright, bold and way out of the box. She was in her 50's and was only a tiny little thing - but boy she made a statement! And how thrilled she was when she heard I had started cooking and selling! Cooking was not her strong point, in fact she just didn't do it. So within 24 hours I had a huge order from her which just made me laugh. She was just such fun. And boy did she love God. Passionate in fact. She was never afraid to say things for what they were - and we appreciated that in her. It's kind of funny, we'd all in some way like to be like that but most of us don't have the guts. I do to a degree, I can be outspoken and I can also speak against the 'masses.' It's risky because the world is now very opinionated and apparently you're only allowed to have theirs. But Suzi didn't care - what you saw was what you got. Gosh it was refreshing.
So when she died a couple of weeks after I saw her, I was flawed to say the least. Even now I catch myself thinking of her and struggle with the whole idea she's not on this earth. Oh I can pretty much imagine her up there re-decorating heaven to suit her tastes. She was the best interior decorator I knew. That mansion in heaven waiting for her would have been given some makeover! So after only a couple of weeks, we were off to another funeral. Time to say goodbye to yet another beautiful person. I can grumble and groan and complain about how unfair it is (and we all know it is), but darn it, Suzi would have hated that. She'd love it where she is. Blow, I never did get to cook for her. Might have to do that in her mansion when I get there!
So here we go again, soon off to another funeral to say goodbye. I've said a lot of goodbye's lately and it's not the nicest part of life. Tomorrow we are travelling to Geelong for the second time this month as my first foster mother isn't doing very well. She's 89 and her time here on earth is also coming to a close. By gee hey, another goodbye. I'd like to say we'll get to see her again but I know that the reality is, we just may not. That's the reality and I don't shy much away from it (reality that is). I tell you what interests me though. Aunty Audrey isn't a Christian (as far as I know!), so I'm interested in what people think of what happens when they die. Oh I don't mean that in a morbid way, I'm just interested. But it's not an easy question to ask someone is it? I'd like to be bold enough but again it's one of those thing where we skirt around the edges and not really confront the reality that the end is coming - and what comes next. Is it just blackness, like when they are asleep? Or do they believe in a heaven but they have their own idea of what that means? I'd like that chance to talk to her about 'what next' and her thoughts on God. Of course, I'll always approach that with the greatest of respect. Oooh I can almost hear a resounding, 'how could you?' But I'm a Pastor, it's what I do. I have to know she's had those opportunities to know God. It's ultimately her choice though. And that's the respect I have. For anyone for that matter.
I also realize that the age of the person dying depends on how we deal with it. The bible says that God has given us 3 score years + 10 (a score year is 20). So that's what - 70? Anything above that is a bonus. I don't know about you - I'm still of the thought that 80+ is old. Anything under that is a shortened life. But when elderly people die we tend to cope with it okay. I guess it's because we just know that we can't live forever (God forbid!) and old is a reasonable time to go. But young? No way! Anything under at least 60 - just not right. Between 60-80? Not okay but not as bad. It's funny how we seem to do that. Or is it just me?
Oh you might be sitting there thinking what a depressed and morbid subject I've raved on about today. But hey, there's a reality that death will touch each of us. I'm not here to bring up grief because I do know many of you have suffered great losses in your life. Sometimes I just think, stuff this world because it's really cruel. Why would God take babies, kids - well people in general? Who has never asked THAT question?? I used to ask that all the time until I came to the understanding that we are not puppets used by God for his own entertainment. One of the first things God did was give us free will - and I'm talking collective as well as personal. This is a huge subject - I'll have to cover my own thoughts on that at a later time, but I just know that the world itself has free will and over the generations we haven't made the right choices. Just take a look at what we eat! It's killing us (more on THAT another time!). That's what happens when the world is left to it's own devices. There are consequences to the way we do things - and sadly we all suffer them - Christians and non-Christians alike. Death, disease, accidents - it touches us and it doesn't discriminate. Last year I knew of a guy who was texting on his way to work. He veered onto the wrong side of the road and under a truck. Was it God's fault? I doubt it. Texting is illegal for a reason and he made a mistake. He paid the ultimate price, as did his wife and 2 small children. Consequences, we can't always escape them. But sometimes we suffer and it's not a choice we make. It's the fact we live in a world now that is fraught with disease and our bodies can't always fight. I hate that as much as anyone.
Oh I've seen many miracles so I know God heals. But I don't have all the answers as to why some are healed and others are not. That's beyond my scope because I'm not God. Some things I just have to leave up to Him! I just keep believing. It's all I have. Anyway, I don't have time to nut that one out here.
I guess if I had to encourage you today with one thing, I would say this. Don't be afraid to talk to someone close to you about death. I think in doing so it takes away some of the fear. It's going to happen - I earnestly pray it isn't any time soon for you - but it's still going to happen. We need to talk about it. Well today I needed to talk about it. But what we can't do is let it stop us from living. Fearing death isn't helpful because it limits our ability to live freely on this earth. I've seen people paralyzed by the fear of death. There's really no point in that. We've all heard it - live today as if it were your last. Funny thing is, we never do that. We can't. You probably don't want to know what I would do if it really was my last!!!
But I am thankful that today I am alive! Today I can love, laugh, ponder, drink, eat, hug, kiss and embrace all that I have while I am here!
And today was normal. I cleaned bedrooms, watched the tennis, made some home made coffee scrolls, had a coffee with my sister - you know - the normal life stuff. That's life really. Live it.
It really occurred to me this week that when people are about to leave this earth, they often call on their Pastor. I can honestly say that I'd never really considered that. We are still Associate Pastor's with another year of probation to go, but it's something we are going to have to embrace and learn to deal with. It's such an honour to be able to speak to someone, hold their hand and reassure them in their final days. We aren't all cut out for that, but I know I am.
No-one really wants to talk about death do they? And how much harder is it to talk to someone when they are the ones who are faced with the reality of it? It's like, if we skirt the edges and not really mention it, then it won't happen. But it does, and it will. We have no frame of reference with death, it's not like we can gain experience with it. It will only happen once and because no human can come back and tell us what it's like to die, we are left with our own imagination. Over the last few months we have had a number of friends die, so you'll have to forgive me if death is at the forefront of my thinking at the moment. It hasn't been easy either. Last year I lost a friend to cancer, after he'd told me he had had the all clear from throat cancer. For reasons of his own, he chose not to tell anyone apart from his close family that he had a secondary cancer. He went into pallative care and died shortly after. He was only in his late 40's. I was so mad with him for not telling me, yet I knew him well enough to know that the true gentleman he was, he would have wanted to approach his departure with those close to him. He was so intelligent and such a gentleman. I'll always think of him with great fondness. Not long after that another 'older' lady in our church fell and hit her head breaking her shoulder. She was taken to hospital seemingly okay, but suffered a brain bleed and died.
While I was at her funeral, I met up with 2 dear friends of ours we've known almost as long as we've been back in this town. I worked for Suzi at one point and Marko worked with her husband Ron. She was a remarkable woman in so many ways. She'd dealt with health issues all her life, yet never complained to anyone, loved life, was an amazing business woman, forgiving, outspoken, outgoing, flamboyant and had a crazy sense of fashion (which just always worked!!). She owned her own fashion business, which I worked for her for a season, and was a pillar of this community. I was so thrilled to see her that I gave her a big hug and commented on how good she looked! I always loved her fashion, bright, bold and way out of the box. She was in her 50's and was only a tiny little thing - but boy she made a statement! And how thrilled she was when she heard I had started cooking and selling! Cooking was not her strong point, in fact she just didn't do it. So within 24 hours I had a huge order from her which just made me laugh. She was just such fun. And boy did she love God. Passionate in fact. She was never afraid to say things for what they were - and we appreciated that in her. It's kind of funny, we'd all in some way like to be like that but most of us don't have the guts. I do to a degree, I can be outspoken and I can also speak against the 'masses.' It's risky because the world is now very opinionated and apparently you're only allowed to have theirs. But Suzi didn't care - what you saw was what you got. Gosh it was refreshing.
So when she died a couple of weeks after I saw her, I was flawed to say the least. Even now I catch myself thinking of her and struggle with the whole idea she's not on this earth. Oh I can pretty much imagine her up there re-decorating heaven to suit her tastes. She was the best interior decorator I knew. That mansion in heaven waiting for her would have been given some makeover! So after only a couple of weeks, we were off to another funeral. Time to say goodbye to yet another beautiful person. I can grumble and groan and complain about how unfair it is (and we all know it is), but darn it, Suzi would have hated that. She'd love it where she is. Blow, I never did get to cook for her. Might have to do that in her mansion when I get there!
So here we go again, soon off to another funeral to say goodbye. I've said a lot of goodbye's lately and it's not the nicest part of life. Tomorrow we are travelling to Geelong for the second time this month as my first foster mother isn't doing very well. She's 89 and her time here on earth is also coming to a close. By gee hey, another goodbye. I'd like to say we'll get to see her again but I know that the reality is, we just may not. That's the reality and I don't shy much away from it (reality that is). I tell you what interests me though. Aunty Audrey isn't a Christian (as far as I know!), so I'm interested in what people think of what happens when they die. Oh I don't mean that in a morbid way, I'm just interested. But it's not an easy question to ask someone is it? I'd like to be bold enough but again it's one of those thing where we skirt around the edges and not really confront the reality that the end is coming - and what comes next. Is it just blackness, like when they are asleep? Or do they believe in a heaven but they have their own idea of what that means? I'd like that chance to talk to her about 'what next' and her thoughts on God. Of course, I'll always approach that with the greatest of respect. Oooh I can almost hear a resounding, 'how could you?' But I'm a Pastor, it's what I do. I have to know she's had those opportunities to know God. It's ultimately her choice though. And that's the respect I have. For anyone for that matter.
I also realize that the age of the person dying depends on how we deal with it. The bible says that God has given us 3 score years + 10 (a score year is 20). So that's what - 70? Anything above that is a bonus. I don't know about you - I'm still of the thought that 80+ is old. Anything under that is a shortened life. But when elderly people die we tend to cope with it okay. I guess it's because we just know that we can't live forever (God forbid!) and old is a reasonable time to go. But young? No way! Anything under at least 60 - just not right. Between 60-80? Not okay but not as bad. It's funny how we seem to do that. Or is it just me? Oh you might be sitting there thinking what a depressed and morbid subject I've raved on about today. But hey, there's a reality that death will touch each of us. I'm not here to bring up grief because I do know many of you have suffered great losses in your life. Sometimes I just think, stuff this world because it's really cruel. Why would God take babies, kids - well people in general? Who has never asked THAT question?? I used to ask that all the time until I came to the understanding that we are not puppets used by God for his own entertainment. One of the first things God did was give us free will - and I'm talking collective as well as personal. This is a huge subject - I'll have to cover my own thoughts on that at a later time, but I just know that the world itself has free will and over the generations we haven't made the right choices. Just take a look at what we eat! It's killing us (more on THAT another time!). That's what happens when the world is left to it's own devices. There are consequences to the way we do things - and sadly we all suffer them - Christians and non-Christians alike. Death, disease, accidents - it touches us and it doesn't discriminate. Last year I knew of a guy who was texting on his way to work. He veered onto the wrong side of the road and under a truck. Was it God's fault? I doubt it. Texting is illegal for a reason and he made a mistake. He paid the ultimate price, as did his wife and 2 small children. Consequences, we can't always escape them. But sometimes we suffer and it's not a choice we make. It's the fact we live in a world now that is fraught with disease and our bodies can't always fight. I hate that as much as anyone.
Oh I've seen many miracles so I know God heals. But I don't have all the answers as to why some are healed and others are not. That's beyond my scope because I'm not God. Some things I just have to leave up to Him! I just keep believing. It's all I have. Anyway, I don't have time to nut that one out here.
I guess if I had to encourage you today with one thing, I would say this. Don't be afraid to talk to someone close to you about death. I think in doing so it takes away some of the fear. It's going to happen - I earnestly pray it isn't any time soon for you - but it's still going to happen. We need to talk about it. Well today I needed to talk about it. But what we can't do is let it stop us from living. Fearing death isn't helpful because it limits our ability to live freely on this earth. I've seen people paralyzed by the fear of death. There's really no point in that. We've all heard it - live today as if it were your last. Funny thing is, we never do that. We can't. You probably don't want to know what I would do if it really was my last!!!
But I am thankful that today I am alive! Today I can love, laugh, ponder, drink, eat, hug, kiss and embrace all that I have while I am here!
And today was normal. I cleaned bedrooms, watched the tennis, made some home made coffee scrolls, had a coffee with my sister - you know - the normal life stuff. That's life really. Live it.
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