Stress Stress and more Stress!!

I've always been the kind of person who has coped with a fair amount of stress before I start to crack at the seams. Not only that, but I can carry on for a long period of time before I really start to feel the effects of stress on my body and on my emotional health. In fact, it takes an enormous amount of it before I'll even admit that something is up.

And then - bang. It hits all at once. Just a few days ago I was asked by someone, 'how do you handle stress,' and I wasn't exactly sure how to respond. I don't know 'how' I do - I just do. Because I've always thought that life is the way it is and I don't have much of a choice but to keep carrying on.

But somewhere along the line, stress begins to become bigger than your own strength and more exhausting than a marathon. And this is exactly where I found myself.

I'm not entirely sure how I got here - I just did. Sure, I have a lot on my plate right now and there are so many straws that are breaking this camels back. And then, when I have felt like I'm caving under the pressure, I get kicked. Of course I do - because no-one kicks you while you are up!! I swear life waits until you are full to the brim with all the stress you can manage before people come around you and pull out all the stops! 

But I'm not entirely here to bitch about life and how I got here, but to simply admit where I am and work out what to do now. There is no one thing that brought me to this place - the title of my Blogger is probably enough to bring with it a heap of different stress. I'm a mother of a child with Aspergers who is transitioning to high school and the huge change that is for him; a 14 year old who is navigating his own teenage-hood (and doing an exceptional job); we are in the middle of something pretty big for our family which I will reveal very soon (no I am NOT pregnant); I am a foster carer which can at times be very stressful (and rewarding, and amazing, and..), I work part time; and I run a church with my husband.

Oh okay - reading that alone has stressed me out. I guess where I'm at is fairly normal considering all that is on my plate.

I just know that right now I have to find ways to deal with it. Some things can be put to the way side, but many can't. Actually, blogging helps and I know that a good diet and exercise is also essential. Hubby and I used to always walk in good weather but with two young girls living in our house, it has become impossible to do this. In fact, doing anything alone together with 4 kids has become it's own challenge! I virtually gave up cake making because the stress of it was growing, however I've missed it and will have a couple coming up so that I don't lose my skill all together.

I do have some close friends but I'm in caution mode at the moment. Having recently had my trust broken, I'm extremely cautious as to how and who I share with. My close friends are definitely excluded and sadly, only a few live close by and it's been hard to touch base. Besides, I've largely been keeping this level of stress to myself. And there it is, the 'aha' moment - this is probably half the problem!!

I know I'm strong, yet I hate when I'm not. This stress isn't going to go away just yet so I have to find a way to work through it. Yes, I have strong faith and thank God for that (literally), because there have been many moments in my life where that is exactly what allowed me to keep walking. That and my family. For as long as I have them, I'll find a way. 

Too right I will.