Where has the time gone?

I haven't blogged much this term and I must say, this has frustrated me to no end. And it's not through lack of material because I blog in my head all the time!!

But as I always say won't happen, inevitably happens. I start the term completely convinced that I'm not going to let the term run away from me and that I'm not going to get too crazy busy that I become overwhelmed. And then I get close to the end of the term and I find myself crazy busy and totally overwhelmed.

I'm reminded of a scripture that says, 'That which I want to do I do not do, and that which I don't want to do I do (Romans 7:5). This is where I feel I have found myself. The things I really want to do, I don't have the time or capacity to do it and the things I really don't want to do, I have to continue out of necessity. I already know that there are some things I need to let go of, yet I have not yet the faith or belief to do so. I have taken a break from cakes for a month but after making that decision I realized that yet again, I'm giving up the thing that I want to do - or at least enjoy doing. 

Or is it that I enjoy so many things that I am unable to find a balance with any of it? I do love so many things in my life - and I want to do them all effectively. I enjoy writing and blogging; I enjoy being a foster carer and want to expand on that; I enjoy cooking; cake decorating; pastoring a church - and the list goes on. But finding a balance with all of it has become extremely difficult because in amongst all that I work 4 days a week. 

It's only 2 more weeks until school holidays - 7 working days for me. I'm planning to take a nice break over the holidays and hope to take my boys, and any other children that may be with us at that time, away to the beach for a week. That's where I hope to find some solace, sit on the beach and think and re-evaluate life. I know I may have to take some risks which is very hard for me. I'm not necessarily a risk taker. I like things predictable, organized and I like to know where I'm going, how I'm going to get there and what it's going to look like when I do.

Perhaps this shall be the biggest challenge of all. To let go and see what happens. To have faith in the God I profess to serve and see where He can take me. I'm not making any decisions just yet - but I believe that is coming.

And yes, I intend to journey it with you - in my blogs and with those closest to me.

Perhaps 2016 will be very different after all. :)




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